Pick Your Poison, Friday Afternoon

[joan_of_bark]

Well, Adrian was a plant, so dinner wasn't happening tonight. Pam could live with that. It gave her time to finish up the salve she'd been working on for Octavia.

Which meant spending most of the day upstairs, messing around with chemicals, but... eventually, it was done.

Done and tested, if in a limited way.

She eyed the little container, and let out a breath. Right. Time to go downstairs, make some coffee, and blow off some steam.

Maybe, she reflected, once finally downstairs, she could get Adrian some fertilizer, as a treat.

[[ open ]]

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[totalwildcard]

It was Harley's usual day of actually working at her store - and she had been. Originally. Earlier.

But of course, she'd already been to the tattoo parlor since then.

Where, as the guy had been inking the outline of the pretty mermaid lady's top half onto her arm, to turn the big J into a tail, Harley had experienced something of an epiphany.

Long story short, the mermaid remained an outline with none of the planned shading, when Harley came bursting through the doors of Pick Your Poison: "Pammy!! I figured out what you were talking about!!"

Like three weeks ago. Shut up.

[joan_of_bark]

There was a brief moment of confusion-slash-alarm, that culminated in an expression on Pam's face before the voice and the colors registered and it fell back into normalcy.

"Harley," Pam greeted. "You have?"

[totalwildcard]

Harley nodded way too seriously, and way too many times. "It must've been so frustrating, watchin' me go back to him over and over and over!" she exclaimed. Also, did she sound sort of breathless? Like maybe she'd run all the way there? "I did deserve better. And I get how listenin' to me not get that for however long it was for ya 'cause I was just... throat-deep in denial about how it was gonna get better must've sucked for you."

She'd be more mindful of all the pronouns with regard to Other Harley at... some point, when she wasn't so... whatever this was. Hyper?

"And I'm sorry for reminding you of that."

[joan_of_bark]

"I..."

Well. It was not what Pam had expected. Then again, with Harley, when was it, really?

"...Thank you," she settled on, both because an apology like that deserved it, and because it bought her some time to come up with... other words.

[totalwildcard]

Harley gave her another very serious nod.

"I'm not that bad anymore, either," she added, after a beat. "But I'm more like kinda somewhere in the middle? 'Cause I'm not great yet, either. Maybe one day! But not yet."

[joan_of_bark]

"Well," Pam said. She finally straightened herself, tugging on her ponytail. "And I'm... sorry for leaping to conclusions."

She'd already said so, but it was Harley; repetition wouldn't hurt. "I'm... genuinely glad to hear it."

[totalwildcard]

"And I'm sorry for runnin' away, after," Harley replied, earnestly - only to reconsider, her head tilting quizzically to the side. "Oh, right, you don't even know the extent of it!" And her head straightened again. "But it was pretty bad."

[joan_of_bark]

Pam's hand found her hairtie, and tugged it loose. She immediately bundled all the red hair that fell out back up into her hand.

Just... redoing that ponytail for no reason at all.

"How bad?" she asked.

[totalwildcard]

That was kind of a familiar sight. One that had Harley watching it sort of transfixed - for a few seconds, anyway, before she shook it off. "Uhhh, kinda holed up with the kid for like a week?"

No, Pam probably didn't know who 'the kid' was. And no, Harley did not realize that.

She gave a big shrug.

[joan_of_bark]

Yeah, as Pam worked the scrunchie back around, she looked at Harley. "You haven't told me about the kid yet," she offered.

Gently.

[totalwildcard]

Harley's eyebrows quirked, like she had the gall to be surprised. "The kid's... the kid?" she offered. "Cass. I've got het set up with her own pad on the mainland!"

That explained enough, right?

[joan_of_bark]

"Which is where you stayed for a week," Pam said, because prompting for more information wasn't likely to help much. "Why, Harls?"

[totalwildcard]

Oh look, another big shrug! An even bigger one, actually, one that involved the arms in the action, not just the shoulders.

"I dunno?" Harley said. "Felt right."

[joan_of_bark]

"Well, I really didn't mean to chase you away to the mainland," Pam said.

And finally picked her almost-forgotten coffee mug from the counter. "Hearing you talk like that just triggered something. Which... you already figured out."

[totalwildcard]

And her tattoo artist had all but had to tackle her to at least be able to put the protective film on his work before she'd taken off for it, too!

"It's fine," she said, waving a hand. "We've all got deep-seated psychological stuff that can be very tough to rein in when we get startled by it, it's human."

[joan_of_bark]

"A little too long to make it the new Arkham motto," Pam said wryly, and brought her mug up for a sip, "But they could fit it on there as an acronym."

[totalwildcard]

"Oh, I don't give a shit what those people do, anymore," Harley replied, much too seriously again. "They're the ones that got my licence revoked!"

Through no fault or malpractice of her own, of course!

[joan_of_bark]

"I know," Pam said, "But you-- her-- we haven't always had a choice in whether we get to give a shit."

[totalwildcard]

Wait, what?

"You haven't been in there," Harley said, slowly, by Harley standards, "have ya?"

She sounded concerned.

... And looked it. Her face had never been particularly subtle, after all.

[joan_of_bark]

Pam lifted her coffee to her mouth.

"It's where we met."

[totalwildcard]

Harley blinked.

And then made such a face, offended and appalled. "Jesus Christ," she said. "Really?! They put ya in there? What for?"

[joan_of_bark]

"Initially? Because I threatened to release bio-toxins into Gotham if they didn't send the industrialists poisoning our earth packing," Pam said. She gave an idle shrug. "And also for killing a few cops who tried to get in my way. The Bats showed up. You know how it is..."

[totalwildcard]

"Yeah, he's treatin' Arkham like his personal pocket universe," Harley replied, still deeply offended, with the huffiness to prove it. "And always sticking his big bat nose in other people's business!"

[joan_of_bark]

"I hate him," Pam said flatly. Something like passion snuck into her voice. "So high and mighty, so full of his own moral greatness, and yet what does he do with it? Run around town, helping the cops, covering for the real bad guys."

[totalwildcard]

"Yeah!"

Granted, Harley didn't have as much of a 'moral greatness' stance on it, but it was always Hate on Batsy o'clock in her timezone!

"Stupid winged jerk, I mean, who does he think he is?"

[joan_of_bark]

"A nosy, self-involved dick with delusions of grandeur who can't leave well enough alone," Pam muttered.

It was also always Hate on Batsy o'clock in her timezone. What a surprise.

[totalwildcard]

Harley crossed her arms, clearly on a roll now. "Yanno, he's the one that got me sent to Belle Reve, that secret max security shithole in Louisiana?" she said. "Louisiana! Wouldn't even let me stay in Jersey!"

[joan_of_bark]

Pam raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I think forcing you to go to Louisiana violates the Geneva Convention," she said.

Harley was built for the city. Northeast city.

[totalwildcard]

"I mean, I coulda been in the center of the Earth for all I really knew," Harley conceded, sort of, shrugging even if it was with a scowl. "They don't want nobody findin' ya out there, that's how deep they buried us."

[joan_of_bark]

"At least you got out," Pam said. "I hope you made them pay on the way there."

... Not that anyone here had rage, or anything.

[totalwildcard]

Harley snorted.

"Oh, I put a buncha guards in the hospital while I was there."

Judging by the distinct and uncharacteristically dark, sharp lack of glee in that statement, they'd well and truly earned it.

[joan_of_bark]

"Good," Pam said grimly.

It wasn't the first time she'd heard that tone of voice come out of Harley. And her reaction would likely be the same, every time.

[totalwildcard]

Harley suspected as much.

Although it also seemed to give her pause. Some of the ire died down, only to be replaced by a frown of something. Concern, maybe? "Did that -- was that a thing that... happened to her?"

Hey, look at her remembering to separate herself from the other Harley!

[joan_of_bark]

"Yes," Pam said, with a certain level of... menace... in her voice. "Waller."

[totalwildcard]

"Yes!" Harley exclaimed, as if the excitement of recognition was enough to override the concern-or-whatever of just before. "Exactly! That evil hag and her fetish for stickin' things in people's necks, and tryin' to make backstabbers backstab each other for her gain!"

[joan_of_bark]

"And she doesn't care who she hurts in the process," Pam growled. "But that's the US government for you."

[totalwildcard]

Harley was nodding vigorously, only to... stop, abruptly, with another quizzical tilt of her head.

"Ya didn't used to be like this."

Now, that was probably not all the way true, between how long it had been, and the battering Harley's brain had taken in the meantime.

But still.

[joan_of_bark]

"I didn't," Pam agreed.

She let out a deep breath and looked at Harley. Thinking about something.

"And then I went to grad school," she said.

[totalwildcard]

It said something about how much Harley had (finally) managed to process that a mention of grad school didn't immediately kick up making faces at her own very specific memories of Pam going off to Seattle.

Even if that meant she was raising her eyebrows a lot, now. "That did it?"

[joan_of_bark]

"A specific professor did it, technically. A brilliant man called Jason Woodrue," Pam said, and lifted her mug up to her mouth for a sip. "A brilliant and very unethical man who saw my admiration for him and figured out how to use it."

She eyed the cup. "I'd say I hope your version of me didn't go through the same thing, but I doubt she's that lucky."

[totalwildcard]

Harley listened, her expression twisting and her hands curling into fists as she did, until finally: "What the fuck did that shit-sucking bastard do?"

Not that anyone here had rage, or anything.

[joan_of_bark]

"At first, all he did was talk me into working day and night to further his own research, hybridizing animals and plants," Pam said. How deep did she want to go into these weeds?

Not too deep. Not when she and this Harley had finally achieved some kind of a detente. "But eventually, it escalated. He pressured me into becoming part of his experiments." She rubbed the edge of her cup idly. "When I woke up in the hospital some time later, barely back from the brink of death, I found out he'd run away."

[totalwildcard]

"Like a coward?!" Harley... asked. Well, shrieked. Fuming, not subtle about it. "That asshole!"

[joan_of_bark]

"If it helps," Pam said, and sipped her coffee, "He's dead now. I killed him. More or less."

[totalwildcard]

"Good!" Harley replied, with way too much fire compared to how mild Pam was being about it.

Although:

"Wait, 'more or less'? What the fuck's that mean?"

[joan_of_bark]

Funny how mild eating someone could make you about their slights against you.

"Woodrue was many things, but 'brilliant' was definitely part of it," Pam said. (There was something gratifying about the anger, though, much as it was an echo of a similar anger on a similar face many years ago.) "He wanted to find a way to meld human and plant DNA. He found it. I was a successful experiment. So was he."

She shrugged. Looked out the window.

"Killing something like us takes a little more effort than usual."

[totalwildcard]

"But he's dead now, right?" Harley asked, because that part was important. "Like in a way where there's nothin' left for me to hunt down? 'Cause I'll go grab the other Harley for reinforcements if I have to."

[joan_of_bark]

Well. There came the bit she hadn't wanted to just blurt out to this Harley.

"I ate him."

[totalwildcard]

Well, at least no one else did the classic big eyes, comically raised eyebrows, jaw slack combo of absolute surprise quite like Harley Quinn.

There was a beat of staring, and then:

"You ate him?!"

[joan_of_bark]

"I was dying," Pam said, and drained her cup of coffee, before setting it down. "It seemed like the easiest way to kill two birds with one stone."

Why yes, Harley, she had changed since college.

[totalwildcard]

Harley looked perturbed.

Just possibly not for the reasons the average person would have. "Was it gross?" she asked. "Jesus Christ, Pam, not to get all literal with toxic masculinity, but that sounds like it would give a gal the shits like no other."

[joan_of_bark]

Pam looked at her.

And-- surprised herself with the laugh that followed. Oh, Harley. (Was that affection on Pam's face? Probably dangerous territory.)

"It was really gross," she said. "They always say 'eat the rich', but they never warn you about the taste."

[totalwildcard]

Harley was maybe still too caught up in making faces to really pay too close attention to what was happening on Pam's, luckily.

(That was the story she was sticking to, anyway.)

"Guess ya should just -- well, guess that it's gonna be fucking rank," she scowled. "'Cause some people've gotta suck all the to their last second on this rock suspended in space!"

[joan_of_bark]

"He was also full of poisonous fungus," Pam added. "It definitely hurt."

She gave her ponytail a tug. (Ugh, Harley-not-Harley had her fidgeting.) "But he won't be bothering me again," she settled on erroneously. "So that's a win."

[totalwildcard]

The fidgety thing really hadn't changed since college.

"Good," Harley replied, with a firmness that bordered on comical. "Means I don't have to start considerin' a revenge mission. Which is it's own kind of good 'cause I don't think I could stomach a guy like that."

She was going to think about... her Pam. Eventually.

And wonder.

[joan_of_bark]

She'd finally be joining this Pam, then. Who had wondered. A lot. Since the very first time she'd spoken to this Harley.

"No, I don't think you're the man-eating type, peanut," Pam said - gently, for her standards. "But I appreciate the sentiment."

[totalwildcard]

Harley could have made several comments about man-eating, all of them either inappropriate or too much information or both, but --

"Wait, what'd you call me?"

[joan_of_bark]

What had she--?

Oh. Oh. Pam winced. "Sorry," she said. "'Peanut'. It's a thing-- I lost track for a moment, I'm sorry."

[totalwildcard]

Harley waved a hand. "No, it's fine, it's cute, kinda makes me sound like a circus peanut?" she said - but she was clearly chewing on the inside of her lip right after, as she paused. "Just... don't think ya mean me when you say it."

[joan_of_bark]

"You're-- a lot alike," Pam said. Helplessly. "Which... seems like an obvious thing to say. But sometimes you sound even more like her..."

[totalwildcard]

"What, when I talk about eatin' guys?"

Very Harley how the end of that question went all sorts of high.

[joan_of_bark]

"When you respond like her when I tell you that I ate a guy."

She really needed to keep that affection out of her voice, ugh. At least she somewhat hid it behind something wry and dry this time.

[totalwildcard]

"Well, there's only one response to you eatin' a guy," Harley replied, sort of accidentally proving a point. "'Cause I don't care how much you've changed, you're only gonna go literal man-eating for a reason, and that makes the guy not my concern."

[joan_of_bark]

"You'd be surprised how many people think other answers are acceptable," Pam said, her mouth quirking into a wry smile. "Of course, I don't particularly care about their opinions."

[totalwildcard]

"As you shouldn't," Harley replied, pointing at her, raising her eyebrows. "'Cause you're one of those, whatsits. Strong independent woman! Girl power!"

[joan_of_bark]

"Girlboss?" Pam said dryly. "I've buried a few of those, too."

That was definitely the flat confidence of a woman who knew perfectly well what she was capable of and (had convinced herself she) was comfortable with that.

[totalwildcard]

Harley raised her eyebrows in a different way.

And then shrugged. Yanno, enh, what could ya do? "I'm sure they deserved it, too."