Pick Your Poison, Friday Afternoon

[joan_of_bark]

Well, Adrian was a plant, so dinner wasn't happening tonight. Pam could live with that. It gave her time to finish up the salve she'd been working on for Octavia.

Which meant spending most of the day upstairs, messing around with chemicals, but... eventually, it was done.

Done and tested, if in a limited way.

She eyed the little container, and let out a breath. Right. Time to go downstairs, make some coffee, and blow off some steam.

Maybe, she reflected, once finally downstairs, she could get Adrian some fertilizer, as a treat.

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[totalwildcard]

Harley listened, her expression twisting and her hands curling into fists as she did, until finally: "What the fuck did that shit-sucking bastard do?"

Not that anyone here had rage, or anything.

[joan_of_bark]

"At first, all he did was talk me into working day and night to further his own research, hybridizing animals and plants," Pam said. How deep did she want to go into these weeds?

Not too deep. Not when she and this Harley had finally achieved some kind of a detente. "But eventually, it escalated. He pressured me into becoming part of his experiments." She rubbed the edge of her cup idly. "When I woke up in the hospital some time later, barely back from the brink of death, I found out he'd run away."

[totalwildcard]

"Like a coward?!" Harley... asked. Well, shrieked. Fuming, not subtle about it. "That asshole!"

[joan_of_bark]

"If it helps," Pam said, and sipped her coffee, "He's dead now. I killed him. More or less."

[totalwildcard]

"Good!" Harley replied, with way too much fire compared to how mild Pam was being about it.

Although:

"Wait, 'more or less'? What the fuck's that mean?"

[joan_of_bark]

Funny how mild eating someone could make you about their slights against you.

"Woodrue was many things, but 'brilliant' was definitely part of it," Pam said. (There was something gratifying about the anger, though, much as it was an echo of a similar anger on a similar face many years ago.) "He wanted to find a way to meld human and plant DNA. He found it. I was a successful experiment. So was he."

She shrugged. Looked out the window.

"Killing something like us takes a little more effort than usual."

[totalwildcard]

"But he's dead now, right?" Harley asked, because that part was important. "Like in a way where there's nothin' left for me to hunt down? 'Cause I'll go grab the other Harley for reinforcements if I have to."

[joan_of_bark]

Well. There came the bit she hadn't wanted to just blurt out to this Harley.

"I ate him."

[totalwildcard]

Well, at least no one else did the classic big eyes, comically raised eyebrows, jaw slack combo of absolute surprise quite like Harley Quinn.

There was a beat of staring, and then:

"You ate him?!"

[joan_of_bark]

"I was dying," Pam said, and drained her cup of coffee, before setting it down. "It seemed like the easiest way to kill two birds with one stone."

Why yes, Harley, she had changed since college.

[totalwildcard]

Harley looked perturbed.

Just possibly not for the reasons the average person would have. "Was it gross?" she asked. "Jesus Christ, Pam, not to get all literal with toxic masculinity, but that sounds like it would give a gal the shits like no other."

[joan_of_bark]

Pam looked at her.

And-- surprised herself with the laugh that followed. Oh, Harley. (Was that affection on Pam's face? Probably dangerous territory.)

"It was really gross," she said. "They always say 'eat the rich', but they never warn you about the taste."

[totalwildcard]

Harley was maybe still too caught up in making faces to really pay too close attention to what was happening on Pam's, luckily.

(That was the story she was sticking to, anyway.)

"Guess ya should just -- well, guess that it's gonna be fucking rank," she scowled. "'Cause some people've gotta suck all the to their last second on this rock suspended in space!"

[joan_of_bark]

"He was also full of poisonous fungus," Pam added. "It definitely hurt."

She gave her ponytail a tug. (Ugh, Harley-not-Harley had her fidgeting.) "But he won't be bothering me again," she settled on erroneously. "So that's a win."

[totalwildcard]

The fidgety thing really hadn't changed since college.

"Good," Harley replied, with a firmness that bordered on comical. "Means I don't have to start considerin' a revenge mission. Which is it's own kind of good 'cause I don't think I could stomach a guy like that."

She was going to think about... her Pam. Eventually.

And wonder.

[joan_of_bark]

She'd finally be joining this Pam, then. Who had wondered. A lot. Since the very first time she'd spoken to this Harley.

"No, I don't think you're the man-eating type, peanut," Pam said - gently, for her standards. "But I appreciate the sentiment."

[totalwildcard]

Harley could have made several comments about man-eating, all of them either inappropriate or too much information or both, but --

"Wait, what'd you call me?"

[joan_of_bark]

What had she--?

Oh. Oh. Pam winced. "Sorry," she said. "'Peanut'. It's a thing-- I lost track for a moment, I'm sorry."

[totalwildcard]

Harley waved a hand. "No, it's fine, it's cute, kinda makes me sound like a circus peanut?" she said - but she was clearly chewing on the inside of her lip right after, as she paused. "Just... don't think ya mean me when you say it."

[joan_of_bark]

"You're-- a lot alike," Pam said. Helplessly. "Which... seems like an obvious thing to say. But sometimes you sound even more like her..."

[totalwildcard]

"What, when I talk about eatin' guys?"

Very Harley how the end of that question went all sorts of high.

[joan_of_bark]

"When you respond like her when I tell you that I ate a guy."

She really needed to keep that affection out of her voice, ugh. At least she somewhat hid it behind something wry and dry this time.

[totalwildcard]

"Well, there's only one response to you eatin' a guy," Harley replied, sort of accidentally proving a point. "'Cause I don't care how much you've changed, you're only gonna go literal man-eating for a reason, and that makes the guy not my concern."

[joan_of_bark]

"You'd be surprised how many people think other answers are acceptable," Pam said, her mouth quirking into a wry smile. "Of course, I don't particularly care about their opinions."

[totalwildcard]

"As you shouldn't," Harley replied, pointing at her, raising her eyebrows. "'Cause you're one of those, whatsits. Strong independent woman! Girl power!"